Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
