Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better

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(610): So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better http://tfl.nu/c25s

Replies (54) Good night (801) Bad night (6445)
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(530): View more from California

When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.

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(530): When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children. http://tfl.nu/7iz1

Replies (109) Good night (1038) Bad night (2908)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.

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(816): Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy. http://tfl.nu/eso4

Replies (37) Good night (1048) Bad night (4077)
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(210): View more from Texas

she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?

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(210): she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know? http://tfl.nu/j2zq

Replies (50) Good night (7021) Bad night (842)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

told you he was gay.

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(401): he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head... (1-401): told you he was gay. http://tfl.nu/35fi

Replies (18) Good night (1142) Bad night (6727)
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(678): View more from Georgia

SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her

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(678): SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her http://tfl.nu/v70p

Replies (20) Good night (2974) Bad night (4312)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation

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(303): Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation http://tfl.nu/s4ly

Replies (15) Good night (1252) Bad night (3407)
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(734): View more from Michigan

you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.

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(734): you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm. http://tfl.nu/i6hi

Replies (12) Good night (2688) Bad night (1287)
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(315): View more from New York

Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.

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(315): Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes. http://tfl.nu/lvfu

Replies (3) Good night (2195) Bad night (994)
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(334): View more from Alabama

I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.

(1-334): View more from Alabama

Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.

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(334): I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does. (1-334): Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers. http://tfl.nu/3563

Replies (22) Good night (4778) Bad night (891)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high

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(814): You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high http://tfl.nu/8t28

Replies (7) Good night (1308) Bad night (597)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety

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(931): Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety http://tfl.nu/hne4

Replies (5) Good night (1012) Bad night (617)
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(613): View more from Ontario

You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.

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(613): You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you. http://tfl.nu/xki1

Replies (6) Good night (1877) Bad night (782)
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(516): View more from New York

I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.

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(516): I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are. http://tfl.nu/mo3l

Replies (6) Good night (1851) Bad night (504)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.

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(843): I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done. http://tfl.nu/68sv

Replies (2) Good night (794) Bad night (370)

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