She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.