Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records