This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i need some magic done to my vagina
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.