oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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