He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
