Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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