Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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