I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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