your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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