He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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