he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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