how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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