did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
