make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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