its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
