two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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