i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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