Sry I called you an 8
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
