Just mADE A PArabola og urine
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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