Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
