So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
