We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
