He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
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I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
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How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think my moral compass just broke
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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