Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
