i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
