Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
