I'm drive I can fine osifer
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
