they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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