I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
