At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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