Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
