why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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