She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize