Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
