the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
