Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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