I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
