watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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