PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Drake has all the answers
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
