You're so nebulous sometimes
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Please don't give away my fajitas
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