There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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