Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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