idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My cat gives me a boner
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
