There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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