I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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