Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
