I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
