the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
