just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
