You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
FUCK WHALES
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize