i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
