try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Less talking, more tequila
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We're too hungover to prance.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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