No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
