Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
