Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize