I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
