Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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