i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
