I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
