bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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