Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
