I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
