the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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