Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
